Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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There where ducks sitting in the bath One Duck truns to the other an says "could you pass me the soap" The other duck truns and replies "dont call me toast"

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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Aodhan peanut head Hearty

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

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Wanna know something funny? Your face

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

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Why did the man die? He got shot!

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What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

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What job did the black man apply for?.. Several, its a downward economy.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia Roses are red

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The pizza delivery guy. Oh hi.

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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Knock knock, Who's there? The cops, your parents are dead and now you are an orphan.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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