What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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What did the squirrel say to the other squirrel? Squirrels can't talk.

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender shoots him.

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What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

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How is pinocchio's nose like a penis? They're nothing alike.

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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Two weeks ago, my brother walked into a flea market and asked if they sold fleas. He's so silly.

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what do jews like the most? money, because they're all greedy fat nosed cunts

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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