- Anti Joke

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

Penis

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

Why are you angry dude? I can't see my forehead

Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

I said I hate niiggers

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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