A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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Why did the black guy hit his head while walking through a doorway? Because he was tall.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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A chicken crosses the road as a car comes by. The driver pumps the brakes and stops the car just before hitting the chicken. The chicken crosses the road safely. Onward, my noble steed !

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Did you hear about the guy who got his entire LEFT side ripped off? He's dead.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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Why is a blonde girl crying in the bathroom? Because she has been bullied and someone broke her nose.

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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(Guy)That's what she said. (His Girlfriend) And who is this she.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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How do you make a plumber cry? Shit a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops