Did you hear about the man who thought his wife was trying to kill him? He's dead.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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How do you catch wet wood on fire? Ask a business owner in Ferguson, MO, to keep it in their store.

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A young girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

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What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What kind of fire alarm does a zebra not like? One that doesn't work

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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Penis.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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leon harney ya pikey

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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Is it possible to mix an answer to a question with another? No. Aids are perfect for fear training.

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Where do you go when your friends called you spoiled? Africa.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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Knock knock Come in

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Many people of many races do many things every day.

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

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your going to die

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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