Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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I like big butts and I cannot lie. You don't know that. I may enjoy skinny butts. I may be lying.

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What did the Homosexual say to the Southern American? I'm A Homosexual. What did the Southern American say back? I Respect That.

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What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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#Hanging Degus

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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Cheese stick

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hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

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Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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What is black and white and red all over? Yemen's national flag.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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