What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man was having problems with his computer, so he called customer service. An Indian man, by the name of Muhammad picked up the phone. This came of no surprise to the man, because Muhammad is the most common name in the world. The man soon found and fixed the problem on his computer and hung up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you spell eight? 8

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

thumb_up thumb_down -9

try slamming a revolving door

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The last time Jesse saw his **** was the day..........oh wait it's never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops