What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

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how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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Yoshy is gay and likes men. From Jarod ????

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What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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"Free to play" Play free "right now"

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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this is not an anti joke

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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Q:Why did the cop arrest the black guy with a gun? A: because he shot a family and when the funeral was held he cooked a grenade killed everyone and peed on there grave, later he rapped two dogs and stabbed a crippled then tea bagged a horse to death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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