Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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Q. What do you call cheese that's not yours? A. Stolen, you're under arrest.

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Jeremy has 8 apples. Susie has 3. how much does Jason have? Purple because aliens don't like grapes.

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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Q: What did Delaware? A: A black dress. She was on her way to her father's funeral.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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What do you call someone who kills black people? A hero.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because a tree fell on her. Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally...

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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