What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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Six hats walk out of a garden. When mustard offal fruit paps.

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What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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Why did the black man skip every other step on the stairs? Because he had long legs and it was faster.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Why didnt john feel like fis n chips? he had a bus stuck up his ars

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What's big and fat? An obese man.

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Yo momma so fat, she has hypertension, diabetes, and a higher risk of heart disease.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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how do you spend all your money you go buy stuff

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LIFE :(

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A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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religion.

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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