What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What goes in dry, comes out wet and pleases two people. A teabag, you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"33"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man speeding away in a Ferrari. A wealthy man who is late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why isn't pluto a planet anymore? Nasa decided it was too small

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Nicolas Cage's acting.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops