How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

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my eyes hurt from what? being open too much

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Your mom.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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How many 1 ft dwarfs does it take to climb up a 55 ft ladder? Only one. It's just a ladder. All you gotta do is climb up it.

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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A black guy bought fried chicken and grape soda and decided to eat in the park. He had a sip of the grape soda and said "aaaaaaahhh grape drank!" There was a man dressed in a grape coustume drinking out of the fountain.

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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you are a åsshole :)

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Jack and jill Went up the hill To go smoke Some marijuana Jack got high Unzipped his fly And asked jill "Do you wanna?" Jill sais "yes" Pulled up her dress And things got real fun But silly jill Forgot the pill And now they have a son

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What's the difference between a black guy and a piece of chicken? They were once both alive and innocent. I lied about the black guy.

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What did the black man say when he ate a Hershey bar? Delicious

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How did the girl with no arms fall out the window? I pushed her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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