How do you kill a politician? You set him on fire and stab him in the back 20 times.

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When I walk in the rain, I get wet

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name is Paco, And yours is too.

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Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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wow such mark very mark many mark so mark

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Once upon a time there was a nice old man who loved to ride his bike... He unfortunately died when he had a heart attack.

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how do you make a mailman mad? you sleep with his wife

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No, I do not have the will, I have a family now, I make a living writing fiction, and well, play a small role in keeping not national, but worldwide stability in such things as the economics. The thing is, that you are renegades, you do not break the law, but you like to do things your own way, that gets you enemies among the so called "paragons" in the face of society and media. Its just like back in the days, if CIA, The Feds, Interpol and such are known as the "Paragons of civilization" or "the good guys" if you prefer, they can point towards you guys, and say "these are evil", and then nothing can stop them.

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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what do you call a Muslim flying a plane A pilot

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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Your mom.

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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