Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

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Yo mamma is so old that she died.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

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A black guy walks up to the cash register at a gas station with his hands in his pockets... He pulls out a 5 dollar bill and buys a pack of gum.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Whats worse than missing the bus? Having the short bus picking u up

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Why didnt your daughter come home? The door was locked

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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