Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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A man walked into a bar. He sustained a mild concussion and a brusied pelvis

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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The BCS

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A young boy walks into a bar and asks for directions or a map. The bartender takes him into a backroom and gives him a map he just happened to have. The boy continues on his way and the bartender is happy that he did a good deed.

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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A priest, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar. They proceed to have an in-depth conversation about interfaith dialogue and no one questions the imam orders of non-alcoholic beverages.

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Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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Roses are red. My name is dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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Whats the difference between an oven and a fridge One is hot and the other is cold

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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