Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

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Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Ask him to come down.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Q: what did the man with a broken jaw say? A: nnamkkiuuiriwojjkmgfmls!!!!

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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What happened to the boy with AIDS? He died at the age of 12

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because it's a free country chickens are free to do as they please

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What's black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, mixed-race babies.

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Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

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Why is Tom Garrick gay Answer- Because he is

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What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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why did the puppy poop? he had too

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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