A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had Gonorrhea.

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Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

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u jelly?

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Women's Rights.

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hector Hector who? ....I forgot the rest of the joke but your mom is a whore.

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What do you call a ostrich with no legs? Damn, that's funny.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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2 black guys are riding in a car, whos driving? The cops.

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What is orange and smells like a jewish cat. Nothing

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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