Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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Two sausages were in a pan. One says "Wow it's hot in here!" the other says "OH MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE"

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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"Ask me if I am a Lemon?" "Are you a Lemon?" "Yes, ask me if I'm an Orange" "No, I'm a Lemon."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Paige

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Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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There are two people in this world; people who finish their sentences and people who

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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69

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Bryce Harlan and I are close friends Love, Pete K

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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