Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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AIDS

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Why are you reading anti-jokes? ... why are you looking at me like that? I asked you a question, idiot.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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You know what's bad? Running over a baby with a truck. You know what's worse? Skidding on it.

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dur dur dur dur said the child born during an earthquake

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What did the rat say to the snake when it ate it. Nothing for the rat is a rat and there for can not communicate through talk to the snake nor could it survive as the snake's digestive system disintegrated it in a matter of minutes.

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On a scale from Casey Anthony to Sandusky, how much do you like children?

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Bob.

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Why, you might ask, did in fact the chicken cross this all too infamous road? His grandma-ma phoned the righteous bird and requested a visit. Chickens never displease their family.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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What's black and white and red all over? News paper that was used to cover up a dead body.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted to get to the other side! why did the chipmunk cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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Knock knock. Death.

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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A lady with no legs walked..... never mind

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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How did the blind man know when to open his parachute when he went skydiving? The leash went slack.

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What do u call a black man in the middle of a crowd of white men? A rare sighting of a black man trying to go to colledge.

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What's black and has been free since the 1700's? What? I don't know, i was asking you.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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