How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

Q: What is, in full, Donald Trump's speech to the Republican National Convention? A: This. I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! Trump tromp troomp trimp treemp tramp trump trump trump!

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

When life hands you lemons, you should question your sanity

yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

yuor momma so fat she has type 2 diabetes

what smells worse then shit Drew White

What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

How many Manatees does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, assuming Manatees have hands.

3 guys walk into a bar....dont you think one would see it ?

Yes!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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