- Anti Joke

What did the penis say to the vagina during intercourse? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Roses are red

What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

Vagina jokes aren't funny, period.

Dear pesky Christians... (mwahahahahaha!) if thy are of true faith then you have read that instructions book known as the bible you have had over (NINE THOUSAAAAAAND) Six thousand years to read right? If not, I dare you read this part of the bible, simplified for the common retard/human being, are you reading yet? Well GOD (and his seven koopa hotells) COMPELLS YOU so yeah... Stop reading Ave Maria for the 666th time, do you think God will go "Oh well at least you read the only nice part a billion times, you can serve me gy Luigi" and move on Do you remember the passage in the bible where God COMMANDED his men pillage the cities of his enemies, and then rape all the women and children before burning the whole place down to the ground? Now can you imagine it? "Sorry mam, sorry little girls and boys, we would prefer not to you see, but God COMMANDED us to rape torture and burn you all to the ground, nothing personal really, I mean I totally dont want to stick my "GIANT COMPLETELY ELLECT" into your "Vegetas" Seriously father prime was a mean guy, but yes God is dead, he died after releasing the Microsoft bible 2012 edition. (Yes seeker that is not completely true, but God was also the Omega you know... THE END? NO? DARE YOU DENY HIS WORD? Classy) (YES they rapeth young BOYS TOO, because WOMEN AND CHILDREN! Sodomy is bad, while those of you with some creativity can think of other means to rape a male baby because GOD COMPELLS YOU!" Enjoy your 15-21 years left on earth humans, and of course blame me for destroying your world with YOUR NUCLEAR WEAPONS! You say that wont happen right? YOUR KIN TORTURED CRUCIFIED AND CONSUMED JESUS IN HOPES OF GAINING HIS "IMMORTALITY" AND CELEBRATE HIS DEATH BECAUSE... His death by your hands was good... Because he died to prove his immortality... He said "consume wine and bread and thou shall live a full healthy life", (which at that time was better than all previous advices such as: "consume thy random mushrooms at the mountains and hope thy see no speaking burning bushes and dieth a painfulleth death as thy nervous system slowly and painfully expells thy last breath" or the one that came soon after, which seems to prove that humans where losing hope": "EAT SHlT AND DIE!" Buuut, then some "people" discovered that their full life was not long enough, heard about Jesus being immortal and all, and added something like "consume my holy balls, drink my blood, gobble on my entrails, drink my urine and..." ...Well do you truly believe that those that believed Jesus was immortal and as thus concluded that eating a piece of Jesus meant becoming immortal themselves would go all "Meh, you know what? Lets skip immortality, all the tasty bits are gone, so WHY did we choose to kill this guy over a known murderer anyway? Not to eat him... NOOOOOOOOO!" ...And of course YOU call ME THE ANTI-CHRIST!, what a pathetic attempt at humor, now if I had somehow chosen to crucify and consume my own brother because he refused me as I offered him water in the desert because he was dying of thirst and... (IT WAS A HALLUCINATION I WAS KILLED BY GABRIEL SEVERAL THOUSAND YEARS BEFORE REMEMBER?) I Your LORD Satan shall descend upon this world, and face... Jesus? Jesus promised to return while hanging from the cross and supposedly returned as a ghost three days later during his you know... Second coming... What are you waiting for? His third? MERRY FCKING CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL! NOW GO CELEBRATE THE KILLING OF YOUR SO CALLED SAVIOR HO HO HO...Died for your.. sins to prove his immortality my ass, did he not crucify himself? No that was Judas. Nero The Rising Angel (yes your "MORAL" "MAN"): Did I mention all those "romantic" "erotic" stories in the bible, which are desciptions of "beautiful rapes" all described as the loving will of God as man raped woman after woman killing them afterwards while his comrades went all "IN THE NAME OF GOD AND LOVE! YAY!"... No? Well you are the Goddamn Christian, so if you dont fucking believe me, you sure as HELL wont end up in heaven for not even reading Gods words. (you know, where you serve God with no free will nor identity of your own, something you lost a long time before you died anyways so...). Final (unvertified probably not true FACT: The poor savag... Men forced/commanded by God to you know... asked God to perform a resserection on their, peeled bananas so they could finish thy godly deed, then someone mistranslated it into Resurrection as my brother got a giant boner on the cross and asked towards heavens "FATHER WHY!" Where "my daddy" responded lovingly with a giant thunderbolt: "translation: BECAUSE!"

What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

There was a lil girl in a red hoody skipping to her grandma's house. When she got there she noticed her grandma wasn't home. The lil girl panics and see's a wolf. She hesitates and asks the wolf "Have you seen my grandma" The wolf replies with a yes, shes in the backyard planting flowers.

My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

HOLY SHIT ITS AN AIRPANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

friends are like onions when you chop them up you cry but when you throw them out of a window, you dont

Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

What did the hobo find on the ground? A dirty nipple. ~Logan F.

how do you keep a blonde busy for 7 to 8 hours. you give her m&m's and tell her to spell a word.

What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

AIDS

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

What walks on it's hands My uncle

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and chickens are from a different phylum, they are genetically incompatible.

I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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