A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't. She's dead.

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Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

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Women's rights.

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So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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speech and debate.

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Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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Its December 21, 2012. You are still alive.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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A clown a hockey player and a...........what the heck that's all I got.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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Knock Knock Who's there? DC Soames. I'm arresting you for the suspected abduction and rape of Holly Harman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops