Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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Q: what do you call a drunk blond? A: a cab

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How can you tell if a woman is a man? If she has a penis

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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Q: Why can't white people dunk? A: because they can't jump high enough

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A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Pokemon pencil!!! A Pokemon pencil who? I just found a Pokemon pencil next to my computer when I was playing pokemon!!! LMFAO!

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

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How do you stop a bird from flying? Shoot it with a harpoon gun.

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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What do you call a black pilot? A niigger

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Whats the difference between platinum blondes? Absolutley nothing they all look exactly the same.

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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Knock Knock.. Who's There? Boo.. Boo Who? Book...

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a dick just for you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops