What did the one bagpiper say to the other? Nothing, one cannot speak while playing the bagpipes.

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My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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What do you call a muslim on an airplane? A airline passenger.

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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why did the iraqi woman bury her wedding ring in the ground? because it's the only way she could properly pay respect to the death of her husband who recently died in a group suicide bombing.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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once upon a time there was a girl named katie. she walked across the road. she got hit by a truck. now she's in heaven. the end,.

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What did the sushi say to the bee? Nothing, a piece of sushi can't talk and a bee wouldn't listen, stupid.

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what do u call a black persons face? a black persons face...

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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I walked into an elevator with Ray Rice...

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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