What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are black people so good at sports? They practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If I had a gun with only 2 bullets, and was in a room with Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and you; i would shot Hitler and Osama because they committed terrible crimes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

This is you cat This is just cat This is wasted cat This is your cat This is time cat This is reading cat This is this cat Now read the third word of every sentance

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

69

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You and your parents are going to die today

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Trees are like friends. They both fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The knocking didn’t cease. It grew harder as the voice grew louder. “Let me in! Let me in! LET ME IN!” The knocking grew so fierce it could have shattered the door. Tears leaked from her eyes. “What do I do,” she thought “should I open the door?” The knocking was more than she could bear. “I know you’re in there, Kat.” it said. Her stomach twisted, her breath caught in her throat, and tears now streamed down her face. “Go away!” she shouted finally. “Let me in!” it screamed in response. “Leave me alone!” she cried. The voice and the knocking echoed in her head, making her more nauseous than before. Reaching for the lock hesitantly, she sucked up her tears and held her breath, unlocking the door and throwing it open. Nothing was there. The tree stood in the yard unmoving, no wind. Nothing. She shut the door, shaking in fear. With the click of the lock, the room grew cold. Goose-bumps covered her skin. “Thank you for letting me in.” a voice whispered behind her.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

miley cyrus

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two Iranians walk into an airport They show their passports and proceed to fly to their home in Minnesota

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops