In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What did the squirrel say to the dog? "I have AIDS."

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Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

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What do you call an arab with a shemagh on his head and a gun A man who is concerned for his wellbeing and family

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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