Struggling with self esteem? Wish you were more attractive? Well stop wishing you fugly cum dumpster.

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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25

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Today is my birthday.... Goodbye cruel world

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

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A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy running down a hill? Two good friends enjoying the countryside together.

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

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Why did the car cross the road? Green light

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yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Why did the tight shirted Asian man spend all his time on his knees? Because when he was 12 he was forced to work in a textile factory where he lost his lower legs.

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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A man is on a date. His philandering causes a bitter divorce.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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Who is the girl that has had sex with over 10 guys? Georgia Hidi

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Republicans

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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