What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

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President Donald Trump

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its feet are both the same.

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the WNBA

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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Roses are red I have a phone,no texts me am forever alone~The Jokers

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-BD0nWgoIw

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A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole. A spaceship enters a black hole.

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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A mans opinion.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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Womens rights.

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey, it's me!". Turns out that wasn't him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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