- Anti Joke

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What is worse then finding a worm in your apple!? Getting raped!

planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

What's the difference between a baby and a mushroom? One is delicious, the other is a mushroom.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a new hat

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

nba live 13

You know what is funny about r.ape? Nothing. It's horror

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

why did the lesbians shop at modell's? because they thought the store had reasonable prices and considerable discounts

why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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