You and your parents are going to die today

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"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

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What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

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Suzie hates cancer, Her granny got killed by a driver that suffered from it

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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Q: whats better than having sex? A: nothing

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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Lady Gaga didn't have anything to wear to the playboy party.

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What did the person say to the person about to run into the tree? Watch out for that tree!

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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How do you call a black man selling fruits ? Yes, but I'm not sure

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A duck, a rabbi, a homosexual, and the president walk into a bar. As a result, bruises appeared on their foreheads.

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Have you heard about the Polish hockey team? They're not very good, but what they lack in skills they make up for in enthusiasm and good team spirit.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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