Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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"It's A Bird!!!" "It's A Plane!!!" "No, It's not either of those things."

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Can a nine iron? No, but a tucan.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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What do call a limbless man swimming? Dead.

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

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These Jokes suck.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Why did osama bin laden cross the road? To commit suicide

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Person 1: Why do eskimos wash their clothes in tide? Person 2: It works very well.

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Who's black, white and Asian at the same time? A panda.

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Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 42

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops