Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

thumb_up thumb_down -5

poo

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Here's a little diddy I wrote for One Direction: Now One Direction, don't forget that we all know About the antics that you pull at your own live shows Like you take your own lyrics and give 'em a swerve Now they either make no sense or make you sound like pervs And Liam, why you swiping cameras and phones? What you need a girl's number cause you're crusin alone? And another thing, it's a frickin spoon for God's sake What did this thing impale your puppy with a giant frickin stake? And so One Direction, we now all think That in about a year, y'all are gonna go N*SYNC and disappear cause N*SYNC isn't around any...aw you know!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Chuck Norris can count from 1 to 100... twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Priority parking for hybrid cars

thumb_up thumb_down -7

You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

thumb_up thumb_down -7

JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops