What's meaner than taking candy from a baby? Throwing the baby off a cliff.

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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A man made a sandwich.

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Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

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shut up kobe!

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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Why did the man not open his door to the trick or treaters? He was a sex offender and it was illegal for him to open it...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Ha ha ha ha

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Flop dog

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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whats orange, nocturnal, and hurts to the touch? The sun or an orange owl... Depends on your preference

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Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

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You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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