Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

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bob saget

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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What happend to the gay kid that walked into iran. He got shot and killed ????

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool The tragic drowning of a quadrapalegic

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Unless it's muscular dystrophy.

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Ching Chong Chinaman is sitting on a wall. People make fun of his name because it is so unusual.

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My nigga so racist he killed a man cause he was white.

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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