I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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your mamas so fat all she gets for christmas and her birthday is girdles!

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This is the concept of anti-joke.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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"33"

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

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What did the robot say to the boy? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and started to strangle the boy. The authorities tried to get the robot to stop but robots are too strong. When the robot had killed the boy, it self destructed.

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roses are red violets are blue no one likes raisen bran except your mom

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What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What did 7 say to 6? I hear you've been spreading stories about me.

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Badgers are cool

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what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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How do you get a black man out of KFC? Tell him to get out

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Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

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I just met you! And this is crazy! I just took bath salts, and yor face looks tasty!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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