Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get an Asian man to build you a computer? Pay him a reasonable amount of money

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chicken penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Does your face hurt? Because if it does, you might want to see a doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats black and white and red all over????? a zebra who got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Breast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is makes you more happy to see than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed up as a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? One, men will screw anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey could I ask you a question? Yes Thanks

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops