There once was a man from Peru, Who fell into an extremely deep sleep and woke up just before he choked to death on his shoe rubber.

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Wendy went for a walk every day in the forest. Why not today? She was shot yesterday

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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What's faster than a Jew running after a penny? A car.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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What d u tell Simba when he's moving to slow? Muvasa

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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