Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? Yo bike!

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what is the vent wound on the ladies that can never heal???

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How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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rosses are red voilets are pinkey your mams pussy is really stinky

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it it would break.

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Have you heard the joke about the Swedish surgeon who found a frog in his patient's stomach? Yes, you've told me it before.

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Women's rights

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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What's the difference between a Justin Beiber concert and a hedgehog? With a hedgehog, the pricks are on the outside, but in a Justin Beiber concert, the pricks are on the inside.

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What time is it? 20:45.

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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...this makes a cop throw a car and then call "inception!"

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I love you. You love me. I killed you're family. No you're an orphan.

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops