"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun

A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

Why is this funny? cause it is funny

Why was the black man scared of the chainsaw? Because his father was killed by one when he landed on it when he fell of his ladder that was holding him up while he was cutting the limbs of a tree.

69

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

Why didn't the Irishman want to drink anymore? Because he wasn't thirsty.

why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

Conner Schmidt's fiance has the fattest ass in the world <3

why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

I have aids

Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

Yo mamma's so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch. :) By Drew Bolton

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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