What's worse than a worm in your apple? Captchas.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

(speaking to an orphan) knock, knock who's there not your parents

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

melon

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's brown and smelly? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Good question, probably because I cannot get enough focus to "put a spell" on anyone because of my allergy, I use "autocast" for the rest. "Put a spell" I have not heard that since I was 14, that's really oldschool, and kinda geeky, back then it was code talk... Which is also geeky unless it actually serves a good purpose. AAAND... I served my mandatory time in the army as a minesweeper, we got attacked by fucking allies because of a... Yeah, I killed, people on our same team, still bad people, they offed about everybody else until I showed up, long story short, yeah I offed four of them, but that's like ten years ago.. My turn, you really got a crush on me dont you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops