A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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What do a Mexican, and American, a black guy, and an Asian all have in common? Believe it or not, they all like cantalope.

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You Wanna hear an anti joke? Womens rights

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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why was the guy stranded on an island? because his boat crashed.

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four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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stevie wonder watched a movie yesterday

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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