Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

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What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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Your Mum's so fat, she's going to die.

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How do you make a mimer to speak? Shot him in both knees and cut of he's ear

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How do you count all the jews in a village? The United States Census Bureau usually has reliable data so I would start there

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A murdered interracial couple.

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- Knock knock - Who's th.....AIDS

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Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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I have down syndrome. -RDV

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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"your momma's so fat that she died in her sleep last night," said the doctor. "There was nothing we could do."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Armando masturbated

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How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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