Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Why did the child cross the road? Her parents were abusing her and she wanted to get hit by a car.

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Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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What did the foot say to the other foot? Nothing, because they are feet.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He cracked his skull and died in the hospital shorty afterward.

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A horse walked into a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?" The horse then replied, "Well my wife is dying of cancer, my mother is a drug addict, and my two kids are in the hospital for 3rd degree burns."

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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69

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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Are you Drew?

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops