So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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What's the anonymous name for vampire hunters? The KKK.

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look at this bag of air it has some chips in it

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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