Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -54

An Asian child flunks a test.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

What is 6 plus 9? 15.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A woman's opinion

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Whats the difference between a guitar and a piece of ham? A: You can eat a piece of ham.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

69

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the easiest way to solve problems in Haiti? Nuke them.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Where does a homeless person live? No where

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Rosa Parks is going to be here if she gets to the bus on time!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man A pizza can feed a family of four

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Bob fell off his roof.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops