What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many friends did Jeffery have? 0 because he ate them and put them in his fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Where does a homeless person live? No where

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -168

Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

What do you get when you cross a turtle and a cheetah? A fictional animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

why did the lady take anti depressants? because she was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +55

whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Bob fell off his roof.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Hide him under your coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the girl die? She read Twililght

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Did you hear about the speed reader on top of the Twin towers? 90 stories 5 seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops