And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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hi will

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Q.why is there so much drama? A.it's a reality tv show.

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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do you know that joke? hmm no.. yaa life!

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

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"what happened to the man that was walking along the cliff" he was found the next day dead with a seagull on his head.

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why did susie fall off the swing? she had no arms and no legs. knock knock who's there? not susie

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why did the little girl fall off the swing. she had no arms so I pushed her off

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What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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