a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

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A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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this is not an anti joke

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

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The gay man came out of the closet.....Not that he wanted the world to know about his alternative lifestyle but because he is fairly wealthy and keeps his trousers on hangers in the rear of his walk in closet.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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thumbs up!

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yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She is rushed to the hospital and treated for a broken nose and a busted lip. She now has a deformed nose.

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Take this and put it- No.

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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What do women and airplanes have in common? They both have cockpits!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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