Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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A black guy walks into a basketball court.

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Haikus are easy. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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A man walks into the bar with his parrot, but sadly the parrot was attacked ferociously by a flock of seagulls and it died.

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What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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Q /why do people eat dinner? A/ because their hungry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it saw food on the other side the the farmer was going to chop his head off.

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What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Easter? Hepatitis.

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Look, gullible is written in the sky! The man looks up and there it is.

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Why did the black student fail his math test? Because he was severely traumatized by the school shooting that had occurred during the test. He was later relieved to hear that the teacher did not count the test, because the legal paperwork surrounding the death of 12 students was somewhat overwhelming.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. Your mom is the punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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