- Anti Joke

What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

What to you call a Muslim person on a plane? A passenger

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

What's the difference between you and a mallet with a cold? Ones a sick duck...I forget what I was about to say but your mother is a whore

A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

Why did Helen Keller always ride in the passenger seat? so she could SUCK THE DRIVERS D!CK!!!!!!!!!

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

A black guy gets a job...

What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

A Jew! Bless you.

roses are red violets are blue you think shes hot? how BLIND are you?

out of your comfort zone

An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

Why did the chicken cross the road? 24

Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

why did the man tell a joke? to make people laugh

can i have a cookie no diabeto!

S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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