What did the table say to the human? Nothing, tables don't talk.

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

What do you do when you walk downstairs and see your TV floating? Call Ghostbusters.

25

Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

whats are the similarities between a dolphin and a bus? they both have wheels, aside from the dolphin. it does not,

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

Seriously tho, too much sex? I need to know dog.

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

Why did Sarah fall of the swing ? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Well it cant be sarah

what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercorse? I have aids

Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

9

a bumble bee walked into a bar, looking tired and worn out. 'long day, eh?' said the barman. 'yes' replied the bee. 'i was flying along to collect some honey when i noticed a large obstical obstructing me. i stuck my pointy needle in it, and according to legend, i will die in short hours to come' suddenly michael jacksons thriller flicked on in the jukebox, the bumble bee boogied all night long until he slowly passes away in the early hours of the morning. long live boogie bee.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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