So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says why the long face. The horse, unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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What do you call a black man who has become a millionare? A financhaly successful buisnessman who worked hard to be where he is today.

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the road was clear of oncoming traffic.

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what did the mom with cancer get for christmas? radiation poisoning

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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-if you're American in the kitchen, British in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? -in the bathroom.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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What do you get if you cross James Bond with Osama bin Laden? James bin Laden.

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Moral below, I understand you are one of us, but you are not supposed to act when I, your leader is spreading the message, if you want to risk harming the fundation behind your status as a shadow and its benefits, I suggest you cease signing your comments with moral. Moral the friendly neighbourhood r*pist: "Ruining the fundation behind the life of your choosing, will always end up ruining your chance to live and act freely, if you are a true shadow, then you will follow and obey"

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speech and debate.

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Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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What is the quickest way to a mans heart? Through his chest with a stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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So. The gays. ...

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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