Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

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Joanna walks up to a random house, knocks on the door,"Is this where the party's at?!"

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If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was crudely stapled to another chicken who insisted on doing so.

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What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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if i had a nickel for every time iv typed an anti joke... i would have $0.15

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I. I who? I broke my dick.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

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Wanna hear a joke? A Republican political activist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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