Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Asian bookkeeper say to the Jewish dog? I love you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a Blonde to switch seats with you? Ask her politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Jewish man died in a car crash. His family mourned his death throughout the next few years.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats worse than a baby in a bathtub? its dead. Whats worse than that? its in a clown suit. Whats worse than that? The baby had down syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Henry: Say the word "really". Moe: Really. Henry: Now say the word "really" with sarcasm. Moe: Really? Henry: More sarcasm! I want you to be very sarcastic! Moe: Oh really??? Henry: There ya go!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

thumb_up thumb_down +4

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops