Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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Are you Drew?

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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Why do jews have long noses? Because they received the genetic alleles from their parents that cause the nose to grow longer.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. The man was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral service.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Hormones are secreted internally and trigger various biochemical pathways that cause certain effects. We all are familiar with the effects of testosterone and estrogen, both on the anatomy, and behaviour of humans. Pheromones are secreted externally, and have an effect on another creature in similar ways. Usually they have to do with attracting sexual partners or changing a sex partners behaviour or body in some way.

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

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A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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What do you do when you see a black child riding a bike? Think to yourself, "Wow you just don't see many kids riding bikes anymore because there too busy playing video games in their basement."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops